I have never been good at decision making. The fear is in messing things up so bad that it would be "the end". This of course makes no sense. What ever decisions one makes will of course have an impact on there lives, but very little is permanent. One of the big choice I had was what college to go to. I got excepted into the three I applied to. One was already out in my mind so I was stuck between the last two. After hours of conversations, pro and con lists, racking my brain on the right thing to do I did the most logical thing. Flipped a coin.
The next couple of days I was miserable. If my emotions were so obvious now why was I not able to see what the right thing to do was before. I still don't have an answer. I ended up switching and was excited for the start of college. Something about no longer being in limbo and making a choice let me see what I truly wanted. I loved college, it had its ups and downs but I was so grateful for the experience (and the education).
I am now back at that point. A limbo of trying to figure out the right thing to do. My coin flip has lead to little success and I am still in limbo, which is a very uncomfortable place. This time others are involved in the lightest of ways and a much bigger move is going to be made. The question is who do I aim to please in the end. As for now each day will bring more information and hopefully a correct decision.
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