Participation

As Peace Corps volunteers our job is to integrate into these communities that we are placed in. This means we basically befriend everyone and participate in community events. As you know, Morocco, were I am placed is a Muslim country. This means religion seeps into everything, and religious holidays are the biggest events. Right now we are beginning Ramadan. This is 29 to 30 days of fasting according to the lunar cycle. Fasting, prayer, and charity are all big parts of this holiday. It is so cool to be placed in a location that is so different from anything else I have experienced. I am exited to learn all about the culture and religion and hope to participate in anyway I can. When it comes to religion it becomes a little tricky. Yes people try to convert me all the time and it can be a good way to learn more, but let's just say I am a long way from converting to any form of religion. I would however love to participate in any of the events they have. I have learned how to put on a hijab which is great for when my hair is wet and probably even better for when winter gets here. I have learned how to pray from my super cool host mom. Picked up a bunch of god phrases that are used in typical conversation, and I just know that there is going to be so many more events. Now though is Ramadan. Ramadan is intense everyone's daily schedule changes. People stop eating and drinking water and pray many more times a day. We are of course not expected to participate in anything we don't want to and when it comes to religious events this can get even more of a touchy subject. Volunteers are so exited to participate in anyway they can and this is the same when it comes to fasting. Ramadan is such an important holiday and the question that is asked the most not only by host country national but also by other volunteers is are you going to participate in Ramadan? For he longest time my answer was "I am going to try." Now that Ramadan is here my answer is "no". For me at this point in time for both my emotional and physical health fasting is not the best idea. My local hanut guy laughs at me as I guiltily go by eggs from him, and my fellow PCV's boo and ask me why. "It's 120 degrees outside and you think I should go all day with out drinking water?" Ok so that's no all there is to it but still. It's hot and I love water! Anyway I feel guilty that I am not participating in this one, but for me it's just not reasonable. I spent summers living with my mom and we finally figured out that when we both started acting a little snippy that it was dinner time and lots of arguments were settled by one of us saying "go eat something and then we will finish this argument". Anyway I am still expected to do my community integration and teach English and sports. Learning to live in another country is still taking its tole and everyone around me is still questioning if I will make it. I even have a small group of people that are rutting against me. That's beside the point. The Point. I want to participate. I want to learn. I even one day want to be able to day that I have participate and live through Ramadan, but I also want to do it right. I want my two years here to be a success. I want my two years of Peace Corps. It's tough to see my rock star friends fast and be able to walk out of the house and just mold into Morocco like they are part of the crowd. One day, enshaallah, I will have that too. As for right now fasting is not in the picture. I don't cook during the day, I don't eat or drink in public, and I admire those that are fasting. My goal for Ramadan is to finish the Quran, but there will be a water bottle at my side. Maybe next year with more understanding and a healthier happier outlook I will fast with my neighbors. For now I am going to read this book, thank whatever higher power gave me this glass of water, and listen to the beautiful call to prayer.