Religious holidays.

Today I woke up wondering if I would be allowed to have a cup of coffee or if I would go to hell for it. This is of course like most of my blogs and most of my first thoughts in the morning before my first cup of coffee a gross exaggeration. Ramadan in most of the world started today. Morocco of course wanted one more day of couscous before, so it won't start till tomorrow. Just kidding. I have only had one sip of coffee it will take a minute to kick in. Morocco goes back to old time for Ramadan so it's actually 6 in the morning not 7, and with just one sip of coffee in my I figure what is a better time than now to chat about the one topic we are not suppose to talk about! No not money, not politics, but don't worry we will get there soon, but this morning on the eve of one of the biggest holidays I figure we should talk religion. I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS TOPIC. YOU GIANT SQUIDS OF ANGER ON THE INTERWEBS DON'T READ INTO THIS IN ANY WAY PLEASE.! These are just my little lonely thoughts that will hopefully turn into something. When it comes to religion I am pretty uneducated. This seams like a silly statement seeing as I went to a Catholic school, was baptized Presbyterian, grew up praying in some form or another before eating or going to bed, and Christmas was always quite the event in my family. I have gone to church, youth group, and synagogue with my friends. I make the cross anytime a plane takes off and say bismila when I get in a car. Some form of a higher power however he/she/it maybe understood has been something I cross my fingers for, yet with all of this religion has always eluded me. Religion has always been something I was not really willing to go near. To me it was just something for people to argued over. In my life time I watched people as they refused to listen, talk to, or be near each other because they believed in different things. Then I watched as people began killing each other over it. I can't quite understand why this is so important. Yes, this sounds naive, I know but still this is one of those topic I just can't quite grasp the concept of and I found that if I just did my best to avoid the topic things would be fine. The college I attended was religious in some way. It had a chapel and had a world religions course that people loved. It was one of those classes that everyone took and everyone loved, except of course for me. I found myself lucky enough to be brought into the honors program which allowed me to replace all of my liberal arts classes with honors ones. This I found to be a gift from whatever higher power was looking out for me because it helped me avoid that topic as much as I possibly could. My really great friend in college was also my sorority sisters. It took us quite some time to actually become friends because well you just can't believe some of the things that this girl says. Once we finally became friends/sisters and found a place were we understood each other. We started spending more and more time together one weekend we took a trip together, and she had what we called a zenon moment. Like the girls from outer space in that Disney movie. The words that came out of this girls mouth was just so outrageous I could not believe it. Luckily it prompted me to ask the question I had truly been wondering this whole time. "how in the world are you still alive?" She stopped and looked at me and having realized what just happened, she had no clue. On the train ride back she was finally able to give me an answer. "the only logical reason that I am still alive is that Jesus loves me... A lot." We both giggled. As my college carrier was coming to a close, I began freaking out as most graduating seniors do. I looked to my friends for help and there were only two people around me that really seamed to just be willing to go with the flow. The only two were my friends S & J. These two people could not be any more different from each other, but the one thing that they do seam to have in common are higher powers J is Muslim and S is Christian, I asked both of them and they said that their peace of mind comes from their higher power and religious beliefs. I want that peace of mind and if religion is going to be the place to find it than it is time for me to start studying. After college I found myself with some time on my hands so I went out and got a copy of the Qur'an and the Bible and started reading. The Peace Corps finally became a thing and my free time went way. I was lucky enough to meet someone, E, who had recently been through his spiritual awakening, and has been a fountain of information for me. In the end this is a really long and boring way to tell you I still have no clue when it comes to religion and I don't know if it will ever be for me. E helped me realize that if nothing else I am a 2 gallon bucket and 3 gallons of crazy and some book probably won't help fix that ( you so know I am reading 7 habits of highly effective people after this...j.k). Anyway my plan is to finish the Qur'an and Bible if nothing else because they are lovely and poetic. I am currently in a wonderful position of living in a religiously run country and am going to be given the chance to hopefully partake in lots of religious events and plan to take advantage of them. Tomorrow the rest of the country will begin fasting. I plan to ask lots of questions whenever I get the chance. I still don't get it. I don't know if I ever will. I am jealous of the peace of mind my friends have found and maybe Ramadan will help me with that. I guess the one thing now is that I am openminded to it. Good, bad, indifferent. Anyway here goes nothing, quite literally nothing! No food or water! it is 120 degrees out here! Once the cannon sounds letting us all know we can eat I will raise my bowl of harara (Moroccan soup) to an open and hopefully enshaallah peaceful mind.